By Ed Percival, Shirlaws UK Business Coach
Listen carefully to others and you will often hear they are giving themselves a hard time.
Critical of their performance, focusing on their weaknesses or predicting a trajectory of general doom.
What they are not conscious of is that this is actually making their whole energetic system weaker.
You can prove this with a friend, using a version of muscle testing.
Have them stand and hold up their strong arm, parallel to the ground.
Ask then to resist the pressure you are about to place in the middle of their forearm, as you say “ Hold”.
That provides a benchmark for their natural strength.
Let their arm relax to their side and ask them to go inside their mind and give themselves a critical review of the last three months or so, focusing all everything they did that they perceived as “wrong”.
Get them to do this in silence – you don’t want to hear this!
You could suggest, for example, work you did that wasn’t up to your own high standards, promises you failed to keep, relationships you damaged and didn’t repair, deadlines you missed, people you let down. You get the idea.
Get them to relive all the “ wrong” they have done recently.
Ask them to hold their arm up again and say ”Hold” as you press down again with the same force as before.
Most times, they will have become apparently much weaker.
This will “demonstrate” if not “prove” to them that when they criticize themselves, it has the effect of making them weaker.
It does not seem useful to leave them that way, so now suggest they go back inside and review the same period – this time reflecting on all the “good “ things they have done.
This time you might suggest they remember all the good work they have done, promises they kept, relationships they have built and strengthened, beating deadlines and people they supported.
So, reliving all the “right” things they have done.
Retest the strength when you ask them to “Hold” and usually they will appear stronger, thus “ proving” that positive feedback helps make them stronger.
This experience can have a profound effect on those who are asked to lead or manage others or even coach young people in sport.
For you on your impact journey, it demonstrates you can make a more useful impact by giving someone else some positive feedback